Back again for our regular Sunday roundup of quick-fire reviews and impressions of everything under the spotlight at Retro Arcadia this week, old and new and a bit of both…

My 2D Sonic journey is almost complete, with just Sonic Blast on Game Gear and the Master System version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to go. Unfortunately, what isn’t complete, and never will be, is Knuckles’ Chaotix for the Sega 32X from 1995, because I absolutely hated it! I’ve actually been ranking these games against each other as I’ve gone over the past year or so, and for the first time in a long time, Sonic Chaos on Game Gear is no longer at the bottom of my list that currently numbers seventeen games! There’s not even much wrong with that either – it’s just very bland and there’s not much to it – but for the first time in the whole series, Knuckles’ Chaotix is barely a Sonic to me. Which I suppose is true as it’s more of a spin-off, so I’m wondering if it should be in my list at all, but anyway, its one redeeming feature is how it looks. It’s wonderful, to the point of being about as good as I’ve ever seen on Sega’s Mega Drive or Genesis 32-bit power boost add-on. The music is okay too, I guess, if not especially memorable. And it’s got the traditional Sonic vibe, but it’s also got this horrendous, enforced, permanent, literal elastic-band tag-team mechanic (even playing solo) that is way too fiddly and as such totally kills any of the momentum a Sonic game is usually built on. Now I’m going to recheck if it really is a cannon member of the 2D Sonic timeline to confirm if it really needs to stink up my list after all!

Hellfire might not be as well-known as its stablemate Zero Wing, but considering it was a bit of an experimental (and painful) first foray into a very crowded horizontal shoot ‘em up genre in the arcades at the same time as Truxton was being put together back in 1989, it’s turned out just right! I’ve been playing on the Toaplan Arcade 2 collection on Evercade EXP (handheld) and VS (TV), and despite being a particularly brutal specimen, it’s very hard to put down once you eventually start making a bit of progress! There’some ridiculous sci-fi tale about some space matter called Black Nebula and some space baddie called Super Mech, with you memorising and executing your way though six increasingly impossible levels and their bosses to take him down. You’d be right in thinking R-Type, but Hellfire also has a unique weapon system that lets you cycle through firing forward, back, up and down or diagonally in all directions, and combined with absolutely mandatory (or you’re screwed!) power-ups, this becomes the basis for any kind of progress. It’s tough but very rewarding and, therefore, very addictive, with competently good-looks and a really cool soundtrack, and it’s definitely worth some time getting to know.

Loads of new stuff in Madden NFL 24… As well as all the usual updates, this time there’s revamped player skeleton physics, the return of Superstar mode, 3v3 online play and a ton of gameplay tweaks, such as no-look passes and a new catching system. And none of it makes any difference whatsoever to me but it’s really good fun all the same! As usual, I’ve had a blast with the EA Game Pass thing ten hour trial, and, as usual, I’ve had my fill until it’s inevitably back on there again with no restrictions in a few months time. Its TV presentation is more polished than ever, with way more depth than I’ll ever know how to take advantage of, but it’s totally accessible too. Brilliant flow to the gameplay with the overarching AI seemingly built for excitement. I guess my only niggle (which I expect will be patched out sometime) is how often the post-play cutscenes end up in pushing and shoving – really noticeable at the moment. Great game if you’re into it though!

I finally got to Mortal Kombat 11 on Xbox Game Pass, and as much as I’ve really enjoyed the various modes and hooking up with some old favourite characters again, it’s got me wondering if I really want Mortal Kombat 1 when it arrives shortly. Actually, as much as I might want it, I definitely don’t need it day one because this will keep me going for ages now, but it’s more all the Koins and Krystals and Konsumables that are bothering me – I definitely don’t need all that crap in any fighting game either! We’ll see. Anyway, apart from seemingly earning it by winning fights, it didn’t interfere much with the story mode, which has been a guilty pleasure of mine over the last few Mortal Kombats! Absolute inter-dimensional nonsense, bringing together all the regulars and more, played out through very long and very slick cutscenes (although that still does them an injustice) interspersed with loads of much quicker regular three-round fights. It’s a nice way of trying everyone out though, and it’s all very impressive. Even if it is nonsense! Like playing a proper modern animated movie though, with all the moves, all the gore, and the fighting feels great to me!

Last up this week, Steam Heart’s (and yes, the apostrophe does belong there!) has some of my absolute favourite box art on the PC Engine or anywhere else for that matter, but I’d never played it so thought it about time! If you’re interested in the box art itself, you need to have a look at my review of the wonderful PC Engine: The Box Art Collection by Bitmap Books, but if you want to hear about an erotic vertically scrolling shoot ‘em up for the PC Engine Super CD-ROM from 1996 then read on! You play as a dude called Blow and a hermaphrodite called Falla, shooting stuff to bring about the end to a virus, which is achieved by reaching the end of level boss, piloted by a sexy female enemy, then once beaten, sitting through a very lengthy voiced cutscene supported by a couple of pornographic anime images that I think involves Blow ejaculating into the various boss ladies to cure them of the virus. All in Japanese though, so don’t quote me that, but I can be more certain that when all the sex-talk eventually stops, you’ve got a very lacklustre, bland-looking game that looks like it was from the start of the system’s life rather than its end. Shame because that box art really deserves more!

I’m still plodding through Diablo IV and savouring every moment, and I’m still playing loads of Sensible Soccer and Baseball Stars 2, but not much new to say on them so I’ll leave it there for today. If you want more of this nonsense though, be sure to check out this week’s double-header of features, firstly On The Retro Radar, with trailers for all the retro-interest (and more) new releases for September, then there’s also a review of the brand new Taito Milestones 2 collection for Switch. One of the worst games I’ve ever played on there too, so worth a read for that alone! Then next week we’re back to the regular Wednesday deep-dives, with My Life With Super Stunt Man on the ZX Spectrum. See you then!